In my last blog, I introduced a series about supporting grieving children and teens. This blog continues with tips for adults who support grieving children.
Accept and Validate a Child’s Feelings
Children, like adults, feel many emotions when grieving. Some feelings may confuse or upset them. Anger is a common response to loss. Children might act out when they feel angry. Adults must notice and validate these feelings. Let children know it’s okay to feel angry and it’s important to set clear rules about expressing anger. They can feel angry, but they must not hurt themselves, other people or property. Adults should guide them toward safe ways to express emotion.
Relief is another emotion a child may feel; this could happen if someone suffered before dying. It could also come from the end of a painful relationship. When children feel relief, they might also feel guilty. Reassure them that relief is normal. It does not mean they didn’t love the person. Feeling relief doesn’t mean they feel happy about the death.
Create space for children to express their feelings. Grieving children need a safe and supportive environment. Let them know they can share emotions in many ways. They may not want to talk. Instead, they might write, draw, or use other creative outlets.
I remember one young girl who lost her mother in a car crash. She wrote a poem during her grief. Her words showed sadness, anger, love, hope, and gratitude. Creative expression helped her begin to heal.