This blog continues with some things adults need to keep in mind as they communicate with and support children who are grieving.
Respect Their Silence: Understand that children may need time to process their grief and may not always want to talk about it. Respect them if their desire for silence is requested. Also, let them know you are there for them whenever they are ready. Reassure them that their feelings are valid and that it’s okay to grieve in their own way. When my son was 14 years old, his beloved dog ran into the street and was hit and killed by a car. Our son immediately went to his room, closed the door, and cried for several hours. About every 30-45 minutes, I would gently knock on his door and ask if he wanted me to come in. The answer for two hours was, “Not yet.” Finally, I knocked, and he said I could come into his room. I sat next to him on his bed for a long time before he started to talk. I will admit, as a parent, it was difficult not to be with him immediately after his dog’s death, and I knew I needed to respect his request to be alone.
If a child or adolescent is silent, it may seem they will never open to you. They may just need some time alone to sort out their feelings. They may also not want to talk with a parent or family member about how they feel. Though it may feel as if the child or adolescent is shutting you out, it could be because they love you so deeply that they are concerned if they talk about the death, you will become emotional, and they don’t want to cause you any more pain.