As I mentioned in my first blog, I experienced the death of my Daddy when I was five years old. My experience of receiving very little support has made me realize how adults need to acknowledge and address the specific needs of grieving children. Through honesty, empathy, and empowerment, adults play a crucial role in ensuring children feel supported and valued as they journey through grief. This entry is the first in a series of entries addressing important things to consider when supporting children and adolescents as they grieve.
First, Honesty and Sensitivity: When first telling a child about the death of a significant person, it’s essential to do so as soon after the death as possible and to community with honesty. Modify your approach to meet the child’s age and level of understanding. Choose a caring and trusted person to deliver the news, use gentle language, and ease the child into the conversation. For example: “You know your uncle was involved in a car crash and was brought to the hospital. The doctors and nurses were so good and did everything they could to help him. Sadly, even though everyone did what they could, he died. That means his body doesn’t work anymore and will never work again.” Make sure to respond to their questions calmly and directly, providing only the information they asked for. If you don’t know the answer to a question, it is appropriate to tell the child you don’t know. If you tell the child, you will get back with them after trying to find an answer, make sure to get back with the child even if you were unable to find the requested information.
The next blog will give more ideas of things to remember when supporting children as they grieve.